Friday, May 30, 2008

Another Reminder to Workout

This could be me...if I got off my ass.

Thursday, May 29, 2008


I HAD to post this cropped version, so I could still see his beau face but not have to deal with the worry of visiting a porn blog at work! Damn! I wish I had my own laptop!

The HIV Morning-After Pill

NEWS: Introducing the best FDA-approved, commercially available lifesaver you've never heard of!

Mother Jones article on PEP: "a monthlong regimen known as post-exposure prophylaxis treatment usually given to health care workers who have been stuck with needles." In some states it is available to the individuals who have been exposed to the virus.

Read the article here

Mother Jones also provides a form at the bottom of the article to see if your state provides the treatment. According to the form, Kentucky "is currently developing a PEP policy and has applied for funding for a general program and one for rape victims."

WOW! It always amazes me when Kentucky has progressive ambitions!

Also from the article:

For reasons that are more political than scientific, there is no federal funding for the treatment. Some public health officials claim that public availability of pep will encourage risky behavior—the same argument used against RU-486, abortions, and condom distribution.

Grrr...yes, life-altering diseases are always the bestest forms of punishment!

TODs: a climate idea

From Woolly Days (Thank you, Derek Barry):

TOD is an acronym for Transit Oriented Development. TODs are mixed-use, high density, pedestrian and cycling “lifestyle centres” situated on vacant land near railway stations. The idea has been around for at least five years but is suddenly big in American planning circles.

Read the rest of the article here

Three articles dealing with climate

New Climate Report Foresees Big Changes

Lexington tops list of enemies to environment

LexTran talking with Clark, Woodford

The last two will disappear quickly: the Lexington Herald-Leader does not keep very good archives. LexTran is the really poor bus service here in Lexington, KY, and Clark and Woodford are two surrounding counties.

What this area needs is a light rail (LRT) service: from Louisville to Lexington, Frankfort to Lexington and Louisville, and from Lexington to all the surrounding burbs; also from Lexington and Louisville to Cincinnati.

The biggest problem would be re-educating the entire central Kentucky population because we LUV our cars. Well, except for me: I haven't had a car since 1994.

Spit as a Deadly Weapon

HIV positive man sentenced to 35 years after jury determine saliva is ‘deadly weapon’
May 21, 2008

A 42 year-old man was sentenced to 35 years in prison last week by a Dallas jury for ‘harassing a public servant with a deadly weapon’, after he allegedly spat at a police officer and then taunted him, saying he was HIV positive.

Since the defendant, Willie Campbell, had previously been convicted of attacking two other officers in a similar manner and biting two inmates, he was indicted under a habitual-offender statute that increased his penalty to a minimum of 25 years.

The draconian verdict comes despite the fact that HIV has never been passed on through contact with saliva. This fact has been emphasized by the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, who stated that, “contact with saliva, tears or sweat has never been shown to result in transmission of HIV”.

Several UK organizations have also expressed serious concern regarding the ruling.

Deborah Jack, Executive Director of the National AIDS Trust said, “It is shocking that in the same country which has some of the most advanced research into HIV and its treatments, there can be such ignorance within the legal system as to how HIV is transmitted. This is not justice but a victory for fear, myth and prejudice.”

This is not the first time that the US legal system has given prison terms to people living with HIV for spitting. Eight previous cases have resulted in convictions for HIV exposure, including two convictions for attempted murder, two for criminal exposure to HIV, one for assault with a deadly weapon, two for assault, and one for battery by body waste. Sentences have ranged from 90 days to life imprisonment.

It is feared that the recent ruling will undermine proven public health policies that combat HIV and AIDS, and could lead to public confusion about the ways that HIV is passed on.

It is also thought that the verdict could further increase the ignorance and fear that fuels the negative stigmatization of HIV positive people.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008


Frank Fanucchi and Turk Mason

A Love of A Very Long Engagement

From Hunk Du Jour

Reminder that I "want" to work out

Underwear here
I prefer the purple, though I'm putting off buying until after I drop a waste size.

Friday, May 23, 2008

Sleeping in Boos Bed

Slept from 8 pm til about 5 this morning. Woke up to the red lava lamp in the living room. Boo must have come back after the movie to spend some time with his boy and then left. But he's left the light on, so I climbed into his bed, to feel better by occupying a space that he typically occupies.

In the process I dreamt that I was Captain Kirk and I was trying to protect my valuable friend (who was the bald lady from the first Star Trek movie) from this huge, white Nazgul. She was protected by this invisible shield that I felt was created by my love and concern for her. She stood on top of a pillar or hill and around us was a river and, off to the left a little, a Greek-looking temple.

I climbed up on the pillar/hill with her, and messaged Scotty that what we'd try to do is beam her away in the nanosecond after dropping the forcefield. I screamed "NOW" - the shield fell, the Nazgul went through us but didn't take her, and as she was being beamed away, the Nazgul fell.

The little fishes in the river had killed it.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

My Wish for S

I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow,
and each road leads you where you want to go,
and if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
and if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin' 'til you find the window,
if it's cold outside,
show the world the warmth of your smile,
but more than anything, more than anything,

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
your dreams stay big, your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
and while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,
all the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
and you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,
and always give more then you take.

But more than anything, Yeah, and more than anything,

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
and while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
your dreams stay big, your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
and while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.
this is my wish
i hope you know somebody loves you
may all your dreams stay big

Lyrics from the Rascal Flatts' song My Wish

[For S, even though he may never read this. I'd rather disappear than to cause you pain.]

Saturday, May 17, 2008

In a Relationship

So, it is official. According to Facebook, he is in a relationship, and I feel...not really heartbroken. I definitely feel envious. I would LOVE to find someone with whom I could be in a relationship. And to be able to broadcast it. To have someone beautiful, the way he was (is) beautiful, and to show him to the world and to proudly say, "We are in a relationship." "We are attached - not simply by a computer link, but we are attached physically, emotionally, intellectually, and neither of us have to be afraid."

But I still don't know what I feel - just a dull ache around the heart, which if I wasn't tired as hell, I probably wouldn't feel at all. Nor does it help that I won't see him at all today; I probably won't see him till tomorrow, and since the Lover was coming earlier than usual today, all I got from him was a "I'll talk to you later." At least it wasn't dismissive, but reassuring.

I don't really need reassurance. I know I'll see him soon. I just wish the back and forth of what he feels for me would quit changing. One day, he tells me "I'm happy you are a part of my life." The next he almost cries when I tell him that I could move to Toronto. The next day is spent with him telling me how I need to shape up or he'll ship out because no one (especially the Lover) understands how he could live with an ex. And that I shouldn't even try to compete because I'll lose.

I'm not trying to compete. I'm not trying to be like E. or D. who ultimately broke me and him apart. I'm trying to just keep going. To do the things you ask of me, and keep going. Today since I knew he'd be gone all-day, I tried for a second hug, so he knew that he was important to me. Instead of hugging me, he gave me an exasperated hug which probably came more from feeling like he had so much to do in a short amount of time.

But none of it really hurts anymore. Yeah, I'm a 33-year-old who cuddles with a stuffed rabbit that is about the same age, but when I don't really have anyone else to cuddle with, it is understandable.

There is more going on in my life than him. There is a French winter running through me, and decisions that have to be made.

Ultimately, I'm willing to sit patiently, as long as he doesn't question my love for him and my desire to pamper him. It's when he begins to question that, that I want to run and say "Fine, go be with your Lover."

Of all the things that I am that could be questioned, that is not one of them. It is one of the purest things about me, even if I have to keep it sedated and confine it to glasses of water and brotherly hugs when needed.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Beautiful Thief

Kyle Avila, the lovely boy in the two below photos, was discovered to have stolen $62,000 from the Marc Jacobs store for which he was a manager. But, Lord, he's beautiful.

More story here

And more photos here

Too Much

Too much I want to be known. I want to be read. I want people to know what I say, even if they do not know my name.

I love. I've watched a guy throw himself off a bridge and call it love and the most I can hope for is to bring my love a glass of water or to tuck him into bed. My current love is very parental, and I'm ok with that.

I do not talk about this love, because no one understands. In this world of looking out for myself and myself alone, people would say that I'm being taken advantage of. But even when my love is upset at me, I'd rather have him as my love, more than anyone else.

My life is a Yvonne Elliman song. Or possibly a Nina Simone song.

Yes, I would love to have someone to have sex with - bare, weakening sex - but love - I want for this person. This man. Who loves me too. But who also loves another.

Yes, I would love to have friends, but when I come home, and he is home, I'm with family.

But I do not say this because I don't think it is important, or that I'm important. And it isn't noteworthy, or that someone will misunderstand, but here I am saying it, because I say too little, when I want so much to be heard. And I want to say to as many people as possible - to the one I love and the one he loves and all my friends and their lovers and the guy who jumped - I love you.