Tuesday, April 20, 2010

He's Gone



First a week early, and now a day early, and he's gone. Too much time spent fighting. Too much white noise from people who ultimately did not matter. Too much. Too much. We aren't disconnected but he's gone. I don't want to go home tonight. I don't want to see all the places where his stuff was and now isn't and all the places where his stuff still is. The pieces of his life that he didn't have room for, and that I will slowly over the weeks mail to him. The silence after his voice is gone, the constantly open door to his room which is now mine. The peace is almost louder than anything else.

8 comments:

Steven Anthony said...

This made me cry, I feel your pain in these words....I am truly sorry.Sometimes the silence is the worst thing...do what you need to deal with it all, blare the radio, cry...text a friend;) scream...walk, sleep, whatever you need, do it..its time to take care of you.

laura linger said...

WHAT? Oh, no! No! Bleh.

Kyle said...

JP, it is ok to be sad and to feel that void. Wish I could make you feel better, or erase the pain, but that wouldn't be fair to you. As much as I don't want you to suffer, the sadness you reveal here shows me how much you cared and how much it meant to you. That pain will eventually transform. Until then, its gonna hurt like hell.

Writer said...

Thank you all for your comments. I love you, guys. Not to be obvious, but I have a half bottle of vodka waiting for me at home. And several books. And three cats. If I had the extra money laying round, there'd also be pizza.

WannabeVirginia W. said...

I am so sorry. Take good care of yourself and stay strong. I am here for you. Blog or write as much as you can, sometimes it helps to process things.

G said...

*huge hugs* the empty hours are hard to deal with
g

laura linger said...

I am always just an email away.

laura@thelingers.com

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Eduardo Guize said...

aw be strong buddy be strong, big hugs from Paris