Tuesday, October 5, 2010
It Gets Better
The Trevor Project has released a bunch of ads by different celebrities aimed at gay youth to let them know that things will get better. And it will.
For any gay teens who may follow my blog or stumble upon it, it will get better. In 1994, I was a gay teen in a high school in fairly rural western Kentucky. And though the high school was fairly rural, a lot of the kids who went there were really, really rural and conservative and Baptist and backwards.
The summer before my senior year I was blessed to participate in a program for really bright students and I headed off to Northern Kentucky University for the Governor's Scholars Program. There I met the first boy I ever fell in love with, and came out. Returning to my high school in the fall was a nightmare.
I did attempt to stay in the closet but another student who went to the same campus for GSP very quickly put 2 and 2 together and figured out that the "girl" I'd dated over the summer was actually a boy and that student took it upon himself to "save me." He outed me, and suddenly people I'd known all my life hated me. The hallways were a nightmare and so were a few of the classes. I skipped a lot of class my senior year and made my first Cs (I'd been a straight A student till then).
If it hadn't been for a small group of girls, and probably a total of two guys, I don't know if I could've made it. Also I came out to my Aunt who at that time was married to a female-to-male transexual. She was very supportive and got me in touch with a gay youth group in Indiana - a gay youth group through which I made several friends and had several boyfriends. I got to go to a gay prom in Indianapolis.
Sadly I've lost touch with many of these people, but I made it. I made it to Lexington where there are several gay bars and lots of good (if somewhat overly dramatic) people. And I'm still here.
High school is not forever. Most of the people who are making fun of you now will never amount to anything in their lives, but you will. You will leave and maybe you will or won't do great things, but you will get away and find a family of friends. You will know the joy of love and the pain of heartbreak. There is a whole world of possibility out there.
As a very punk grrrl told me the day I had to leave GSP to return home, don't let the bastards grind you down!
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8 comments:
You inspire, mate....truly :)
My friend, you are truly living proof it can get better<3
I've very sorry you had such a rough time in high school. The situation with gay teens often is really serious, and adult gays who are not already involved really need to wake up and help in any way we can.
Thanks for your story and for highlighting the Trevor Project.
We're all happy you made it.
Thanks for this post. Growing up in the suburbs of St Louis, MO, and attending undergrad in Cape Girardeau, MO, I had similar experiences. Living now in S. California makes things seem a bit better for gay youth, but we are in a "bubble" here.
I'm glad I'm an inspiration, David...now if only I could inspire myself. LOL.
Thank you, Steven. However...truly...the numbing pain of adulthood makes the hormone-laced pain of being a teen look like a day in the park. LOL. :p
Schweigsame, the best way for gay adults to get involved would be to become a mentor to gay teens. Some of the best help I had was a couple of gay guys (once a couple but at the time simply living under the same roof) who lived in the same county as me. They were HIV+ and in their 50s and 60s but I could go there and escape for a while. AND they'd lend me porn (this in the days before the internet) but it was nice to simply see adult gay people - to know I wasn't alone.
Hi, Doc Rob, I know what you mean. Even living here in Lexington, KY, I'm somewhat in a bubble. We aren't aware of how things are in the rural areas. Which sometimes the rural areas can surpass the city - the city and its bubble can stagnate.
What suburb of St. Louis? My last lover moved here from Fenton. And one of my best friends from high school now lives in Cape Girardeau.
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