
This is my third attempt at this book, and for some reason, maybe the warm weather, I feel it may click.
Everyone have a good night. And I will see you tomorrow.















Sunday, December 10, 1978 (Henry is 15, and 15)
Henry: I'm in my bedroom with my self. He's here from next March. We are doing what we often do when we have a little privacy, when it's cold out, when both of us are past puberty and haven't quite gotten around to actual girls yet. I think most people would do this, if they had the sort of opportunities I have. I mean, I'm not gay or anything.
It's late Sunday morning. I can hear the bells ringing at St. Joe's. Dad came home late last night; I think he must have stopped at the Exchequer after the concert; he was so drunk he fell down on the stairs and I had to haul him into the apartment and put him to bed. He coughs and I hear him messing around in the kitchen.
My other self seems distracted; he keeps looking at the door. "What?" I ask him. "Nothing," he says. I get up and check the lock. "No," he says. He seems to be making a huge effort to speak. "Come on," I say.
I hear Dad's heavy step right outside my door. "Henry?" he says, and the knob of the door slowly turns and I abruptly realize that I have inadvertently unlocked the door and Henry leaps for it but it's too late: Dad sticks his head in and there we are, in flagrante delicto. "Oh," he says. His eyes are wide and he looks completely disgusted. "Jesus, Henry." He shuts the door and I hear him walking back to his room. I throw my self a reproachful glare as I pull on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. I walk down the hall to Dad's bedroom. His door is shut. I knock. No answer. I wait. "Dad?" Silence. I open the door, stand in the doorway. "Dad?" He's sitting with his back to me, on his bed. He continues to sit, and I stand there for a while, but I can't bring myself to walk into the room. Finally I shut the door, walk back to my own room.
...
"So what happens next?"
"Dad ignores you for three weeks. And this" - he waves his hand at the bed - "we've got to stop meeting like this." (55-6,57)

Why don't we try not to break our hearts
and make it so hard for ourselves?
~Pet Shop Boys
Moe Pearlman was the greatest cocksucker in New York City.
He knew this was true. Hundreds of men had told him so. They had also told their friends, boyfriends, and lovers. Some went further and said he was the best in the whole world; Moe paid little heed to the world outside New York - an extremely competitive cocksuckiing market, it should be noted - and was thus content to hold the undisputed city title. He had a "reputation." And he was proud of it.
His skill wasn't something that could be taught: It wasn't any trick of the tongue or a double-jointed jaw that made him the champion. He was the greatest because he was devoted, passionate about his vocation with the precision of a scientist and the creativity of an artist.
He was also an expert because he practiced regularly. More often than most people brush their teeth.
But not tonight, Moe thought as he walked out of his apartment on Cornelia Street and turned north, knapsack over his shoulder. Tonight Moe was going to try and keep his mouth shut, at least for a few hours. It wouldn't be easy, but it was for a good cause.

Few can contemplate without a sense of exhilaration the splendid achievements of practical energy and technical skill, which, from the latter part of the seventeenth century, were transforming the face of material civilization, and of which England was the daring, if not too scrupulous, pioneer. If, however, economic ambitions are good servants, they are bad masters.
The most obvious facts are the most easily forgotten. Both the existing economic order and too many of the projects advanced for reconstructing it break down through their neglect of the truism that, since even quite common men have souls, no increase in material wealth will compensate them for arrangements which insult their self-respect and impair their freedom. A reasonable estimate of economic organisation must allow for the fact that, unless industry is to be paralysed by recurrent revolts on the part of outraged human nature, it must satisfy criteria which are not purely economic.
~R.H. Tawney, Religion and the Rise of Capitalism
By and large, our present problem is one of attitudes and implements. We are remodeling the Alhambra with a steam-shovel, and are proud of our yardage. We shall hardly relinquish the shovel, which after all has many good points, but we are in need of gentler and more objective criteria for its successful use.
~Aldo Leopold, A Sand County Almanac

Per me si va nella città dolente
(Through me the way to the woeful city)
~Dante Alighieri (Sign on the gate of Hell)

All my memories of him are pleasant, discounting the three months that followed one of Lindworm Castle's numerous sieges, during which a stone launched by a trebuchet struck him on the head and left him convinced that he was a cupboard full of dirty spectacles. (15)
The next page resembled a string of pearls, a series of associations so fresh, so relentlessly original and profound that I felt ashamed of the banality of every sentence I myself had written until then. They transfixed and illumined my brain like shafts of sunlight...I still remember kissing every word of every sentence that particularly pleased me. (28)
At last I paused at an intersection. Turning on the spot, I counted the bookshops in the streest running off it: there were no less than sixty-one of them. My heart beat wildly. Here, life and literature seemed to be identical: everything centred on the printed word. This was my city, my new home. (41)
Many shadows exist in the gloom of the catacombs. Shadows of living creatures, of dead things, of vermin that creep, crawl, and fly, of Bookhunters, of stalagmites and stalactites. A multifarious race of silhouettes dancing restlessly over the tunnel roofs and book-lined walls, they strike terror into many intruders or drive them insane. One day in the not too distant past, so legend had it, these incorporeal beings grew tired of their anarchic living conditions and elected a leader. They superimposed one shadow, one silhouette, one shade of darkness on another until all these became amalgamated into a demicreature. Half alive and half dead, half solid and half insubstantial, half visible and half invisible, he became their ruler and spiritural executor. In other words, the Shadow King. (66-7)
"In my profession it isn't a question of telling good literature from bad. Really good literature is seldom appreciated in its own day. The best authors die poor, the bad ones make money - it's always been like that. What do I, an agent, get out of a literary genious who won't be discovered for another hundred years? I'll be dead myself by then. Successful incompetents are what I need." (75)
I felt I was sailing across a dark sea in which countless lighthouses stood on little islands. The lighthouses were writers beaming their lonely messages across the centuries - I was sailing from island to island, guided by those literary beacons. They were the thread that would lead me out of the labyrinth. (171)
In the end, because you become inured to anything you meet in vast numbers, I grew accustomed to the sight of these innumerable skeletons. I ceased to flinch whenever I rounded a bend in a tunnel and was confronted by a skeletal figure with its arm raised in salutation. There was even something comforting about this world of the dead, because the absence of life betokened the absence of danger. All that is evil stems from the living; the dead are a peaceable bunch. (185)
"There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written or badly written, that's all." (237)

Queerty: Are you disappointed in HRC, or Kathy Griffin?
McGehee: ABSOLUTELY – HRC needs to know – they have a HUGE problem. They are completely disconnected from their community and their base and there is a way to reconnect, but I think they are so consumed with fundraiser events and t-shirt sells to really engage in a conversation about why the organization that is NATIONALLY branded to represent us is NOT connected to those who feel disenfranchised. I know that I, and many others, would love to have an open and honest conversation about how to build a better army, but I don't believe there are ready or willing to have that conversation.

"Well, here goes. I really resent the term, but I use it because it’s recognized and accepted. I’m gay. From some seventy years of personal experience, I can tell you that there’s not much 'gay' about being homosexual. For the first twenty years of my life, I had to live in the shadows, in a culture that was — at least outwardly — totally hostile to any hint of that variation of life-style. At no time did I choose to adopt any protective coloration, though; my cultivation of an abundant beard was not at all a deception, but part of my costume as a conjuror. … Before publishing this statement, I chose to privately notify a number of my closest friends and colleagues — none of whom, I’m sure, have been at all surprised at this 'coming out.' … This declaration of mine was prompted just last week by seeing an excellent film — starring Sean Penn — that told the story of politician Harvey Milk, the first openly gay man to be elected to public office in California. I’m in excellent company: Barney Frank, Oscar Wilde, Stephen Fry, Ellen DeGeneris, Rachel Maddow, are just a few of those who were in my thoughts as I pressed the key that placed this on Swift and before the whole world. I should apologize for having used Swift [his blog] as the venue to publish this note, an item that is hardly the focus of what we promote and publish here, but I chose the single most public asset I have to make this statement. It’s from here that I have attacked irrationality, stupidity, and irresponsibility, and it is my broadest platform. Here is where I have chosen to stand and fight. And I think that I have already won this battle by simply publishing this statement."