Saturday, September 22, 2012

Weekend Dick

I went to my first AA meeting last night. Everyone was very welcoming, while the guy next to me kept leaning over on occasion and whispering, "Breathe. Breathe."

It was kinda awkward too. Large groups of people kinda make me nervous, especially when it's your first time there and because it is your first time, the focus is on YOU. As a first-timer, they say in the meeting that you are the "most important person there." And then the focus becomes the 1st step, I guess both as a means of reminding everyone that at some point everyone was a first-timer, but also that first-timer reminds them of where they began.

I knew a couple of faces thankfully.

I felt very lonely afterwards.

But already, I've started rearranging next week so I can go to the other gay meeting on Wednesday as well as the one on Friday.

For something a little more naughty.

14 comments:

SEAN said...

Congratulations! I know you can do it. You may want to try a non-gay specific meeting. When I went to the Adult Children of Alcoholics I did both and found the gays ones to been more intense but I was also in Dupont Circle

JamTheCat said...

You're strong. The first step is the hardest, and you made it. You'll make it through them all.

Tamayn Irraniah said...

The most important is that you're taking the steps you find necessary. Ironically, the best way that I found to loosen up is to have a drink or two.

Just out of curiosity, the twelve step program usually used in AA is heavily based on God? How is that going to work for you?

Writer said...

SEAN, you say "Dupont Circle" like I know what that means. ;)

Writer said...

Thank you, Kyle. :)

Writer said...

Tamayn, I've already checked out a book called Waiting: it is the 12 steps from an atheist's pov.

Mitchell is Moving said...

Wishing you a more comfortable feeling! You have my admiration and all good thoughts!

Writer said...

Thank you, Mitchell! :)*blush

Kyle Leach said...

JP, BIG HUG. I'm so happy you got to your first meeting! It is the one of the hardest and you got through it! Glad you found Waiting. I've never read I, but know several people who have and it helped them through rough patches.

Writer said...

Thank you, Kyle. My next meeting is tomorrow, and I'm kinda excited. I found that after leaving the meeting last Friday, I felt very, very alone, so I'm happy for the return. :)

Dean Grey said...

Writer!

I'm very happy to read this post, Jonathan.

Going to AA is long overdue for you but I'm glad you're finally doing it.

No one can do it alone and now you'll have some support from people who are going through it too.

Wishing you the very best...

-Dean

Robert Heikkila said...

Hang in there because it works. I've been sober now for 16 years. The gay groups can be cliquey but are certainly more "entertaining" and relevant. P.S. Love your blog.

Writer said...

Thank you, Dean. :)

Writer said...

Thank you, Robert, for the encouragement and the compliment. :)