Friday, November 16, 2012

My Love My Love My Love. She Keeps Me Warm. She Keeps Me Warm.

So I'll be leaving for home tomorrow for Thanksgiving and already I'm aching for the trip back on the coming Friday for the beginning of the next meeting at 7:30.

I'll be blogging cause there's not much else to do, and I really get tired of the TV. I'll be doing some genealogy work - pictures of tombstones for my website and continue work on that 1850 census.

I love my Mom and my Step-Dad and my Step-Sister and my Step-Nephew, whom I'm taking a Lady Gaga T-shirt that I bought at the concert a couple of years ago. But I may have to be around my sister and her hatefulness.

Not just her hatefulness to me, but her hatefulness to her eldest, her daughter. And I will keep my mouth shut and my mask on. And most likely the computer on and up until I finally get to pack my stuff back up and get headed home.

The worse days will be Wednesday and Thursday when family HAS to be together. We'll have the Thanksgiving meal most likely at my aunt's house - the aunt whose three daughters go on and on about their marriages and children and ignore my almost-marriage.

This was the beginning of the new flare-up of the tension between my sister and me. I made some statement as to how my engagement should get equal time and my sister went off saying how I was so disrespectful of the family...she of the fourth marriage. Which that isn't anything new: she continually reminds me that she "lets" me to be around her kids. And Mom, bless her, is so busy being Switzerland that she can't see or won't say that her daughter IS actually in the wrong.

So I don't know if I'll go with the family when we go to Owensboro for steak...though it's STEAK. And as soon as possible I'll be putting Macklemore & Ryan Lewis's Same Love on my iPod and turn it on when needed.

I'm thankful for my friends here on the blog. Oddly enough, I've not been able to take off my mask for the people at the AA meetings, but here for some reason, I know I don't have to wear a mask...maybe because there is the separation of place, I know that that is enough "cover," that I don't have to hide myself. Thank you.

4 comments:

SEAN said...

Good luck. There's always Skype.

Stan said...

Have a good trip home or should I say make the best of it when you can. You remind me of when I would fly all the way home from Atlanta or Columbus Ohio back to New Jersey and would say to myself after 10 minutes after I got there "what the hell am I doing here?" Although my family situation was nothing like you describe yours unfortunately. Finally after a while I just stayed where I was with my partner at the time and friends.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Hugs,
Stan

Writer said...

Sean, I've been Facebooking like hell. Are we friends on there?

Writer said...

Happy Thanksgiving, Stan. I find that once I get here, I'm fine. And things between me and my sister ease up, mostly because her kids...well, her youngest kid...love me. (Her eldest is 13, and I remember how difficult it is to be close to anyone who isn't also 13.) But thank you. :)