Message from My Sister on this Thanksgiving Eve

We were lucky to have our needs met and our parents weren't out doing drugs. You don't know how good you had it, but you want us to feel sorry for you because someone made fun of you because you had glasses and braces and were smart. Maybe we should feel sorry for you because you're smart and can't even buy the things you need! Life changes us everyday, J.P., but you go on and quit blaming us for your life. I love you regardless of your sexual orientation, but what I hate is how irresponsibility you are and will always be. If you had the common sense that you have book sense, you might life a different life. You chose this, J.P. and now mom suffers for it! She waits for the phone call that says you're dying becuase your HIV has turned into AIDS. All you had to do was be responsible. I love you and pray for you daily and you act like you don't even have family unless you want something! It is all about choice! I'll see you on Thanksgiving and I hope you can be thankful my children and I will be there!

Fucking bitch! Needless to say, I'm not going home for Thanksgiving.

And, no, I wasn't trying to make anyone feel sorry for me: I was trying to explain to her that I was not the same shy little boy she grew up with, her comment being that I wasn't the same (Thank, God!) and that I could be "JP and be gay" at the same time, as though me being gay was overriding me being JP. I told her to try to stop being herself AND being straight at the same time. So, I apparently chose to get HIV. And I chose my irresponsible life of working two jobs: I work one job Monday through Friday and the other job Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday (usually from 11 am to 11 pm) and Sunday. I work 7 days a week, so I don't really know how exactly I'm being irresponsible.

Granted I'm not just over my third marriage and up until last month was living at home with our Mother. Who knows?

And as for having common sense as opposed to book sense, the message just screams a lack of both!


Kyle said…
Hey JP, this is the same kind of condescending crap my extended family use to spout. I cut them all off after my mom died. It has been so much better since.

I hope you have some time off for the holiday and that you have a great time, whether you are surrounded by friends and adoptive family or not. Happy Thanksgiving!
Sean said…
I just want to hug you. (would definitely lead to more)

I doubt that she'll be able to be there should you ever need it.

Two weeks ago I listened as my 31 y/o cousin cried about how her mother (my aunt) treats her - my aunt has never appreciated this smart, beautiful yada yada yada woman.

I asked Maureen what she would tell a battered woman in her ER to do. So I told Maureen, you must leave that house (she moved back from CA after her brother died) that she can never have the relationship she desires as a child. You can love your mom but you can't be near her. I said a lot more but she took most of it to heart and in a week had a job and an apartment.

I say to you, confront the abuse and then tell her that if she can not meet your conditions for talking, accepting and being with you then you will cut her from your life.

You are a good and valuable person - know that and believe that.
Stephen said…
I love your blog & my heart goes out to you... if I had known, I would have invited you to spend the day with us... but that would be a bit of a commute.
Remember... you are loved.
"Be yourself, no matter what they say" is what comes to mind. We have to stand up for who we are regardless of what our most immediate family thinks or say. You will find love and understanding in your blogosphere, JP.


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