13 Observations Made By Lemony Snicket...

...while watching Occupy Wall Street from a Discreet Distance

Here, Lemony Snicket, a.k.a. Daniel Handler, is seen playing an accordion, possibly recording something with The Magnetic Fields. (Said in Matt Smith-esque voice: Accordions are Cool!)

1. If you work hard, and become successful, it does not necessarily mean you are successful because you worked hard, just as if you are tall with long hair it doesn’t mean you would be a midget if you were bald.

2. “Fortune” is a word for having a lot of money and for having a lot of luck, but that does not mean the word has two definitions.

3. Money is like a child—rarely unaccompanied. When it disappears, look to those who were supposed to be keeping an eye on it while you were at the grocery store. You might also look for someone who has a lot of extra children sitting around, with long, suspicious explanations for how they got there.

4. People who say money doesn’t matter are like people who say cake doesn’t matter—it’s probably because they’ve already had a few slices.

5. There may not be a reason to share your cake. It is, after all, yours. You probably baked it yourself, in an oven of your own construction with ingredients you harvested yourself. It may be possible to keep your entire cake while explaining to any nearby hungry people just how reasonable you are.

6. Nobody wants to fall into a safety net, because it means the structure in which they’ve been living is in a state of collapse and they have no choice but to tumble downwards. However, it beats the alternative.

7. Someone feeling wronged is like someone feeling thirsty. Don’t tell them they aren’t. Sit with them and have a drink.

8. Don’t ask yourself if something is fair. Ask someone else—a stranger in the street, for example.

9. People gathering in the streets feeling wronged tend to be loud, as it is difficult to make oneself heard on the other side of an impressive edifice.

10. It is not always the job of people shouting outside impressive buildings to solve problems. It is often the job of the people inside, who have paper, pens, desks, and an impressive view.

11. Historically, a story about people inside impressive buildings ignoring or even taunting people standing outside shouting at them turns out to be a story with an unhappy ending.

12. If you have a large crowd shouting outside your building, there might not be room for a safety net if you’re the one tumbling down when it collapses.

13. 99 percent is a very large percentage. For instance, easily 99 percent of people want a roof over their heads, food on their tables, and the occasional slice of cake for dessert. Surely an arrangement can be made with that niggling 1 percent who disagree.

Thanks to Neil Gaiman for mirroring it...um, whatever exactly that means.


RedPhillip said…
I've never seen a photo of Mr Handler. He is something of a studmuffin! I've been an accordion fan since the early days of They Might Be Giants. I saw the Lemony Snicket #OWS list on Facebook, though I don't recall through what chain of sharing and posting. Very funny.

In re: mirroring: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mirror_(computing)

BTW, I usually test out INTJ, though I haven't assayed myself since my recent transformations began. Might well be a bit different now.

I hope you're doing well. I'm enjoying your contributions here, and in conversations elsewhere. {hugs}
tamayn said…
Excellent points all. It's so simply logical that it seems hard to believe there are people who miss concepts like this.
Writer said…
He is a studmuffin, RedPhillip. Thank you for the link and the Myers-Brigg's nod...does that mean we would be good friends. IDK. I hope so. Haven't seen you on here in a while, and I don't get to comment on Rob's blog as much. Did you see today's post? Do you and Rob get to hang out? If so, please give him a hug for me. :)
Writer said…
I thought so, Wonder Man. :)
Writer said…
Money makes fools of us all, tamayn. Some more than others. =/
RedPhillip said…
If I understand M-B well enough, I think that we'f find ourselves friends and compatible colleagues. Close enough in temperament to intuitively collaborate on whatever project we might share, and with just enough difference (between 'F' and 'T') to allow for the divergence of perspective that allows new synthesis to emerge.

I heard about Rob's loss yesterday, and took a quick look just now at his post today. While it would seem a trivial loss to some, it's major for him.

I wish to hell he and I could hang out. He lives about an hour and a half away from me, and I don't have a car, so meeting, whenever that happens, will be its own logistical challenge. When sooner or later he and I do spend some time together, I'll give Mr Steed rather more than a hug on your behalf. ;-P
Writer said…
RedPhillip, don't remind me: I'm envious of you and so freaking jealous too. Though reading his experiences always turn me on, sometimes I have to quit reading because I get so jealous and sad that most likely it won't happen again. :(

It would be a big loss for me too.

I'd like to collaborate something. Possibly in a horizontal position? ;)
RedPhillip said…
I envy you, good sir, because you have had that singular pleasure of Mr Steed's company. Truth is, being several hundred miles closer to the man doesn't make it all that much easier to occupy the same real estate at the same time. In some respects, it was easier when he lived in Detroit and it was utterly impossible that we'd meet up. Now he's just close enough to be almost possible, and the logistical difficulties have never been surmounted; way more frustrating.

I'm quite sure I'll enjoy all manner of collaborative efforts with you, some of which might not even need getting naked and slippery ;-)
Writer said…
RedPhillip, any sort of collaboration (naked and slippery or clothed and artistic/whathaveyou) would be fun.

As for Rob...damn, I SO love that man! :)
Writer said…
That makes me happy, Kyle! :)

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