I went to my first AA meeting last night. Everyone was very welcoming, while the guy next to me kept leaning over on occasion and whispering, "Breathe. Breathe."
It was kinda awkward too. Large groups of people kinda make me nervous, especially when it's your first time there and because it is your first time, the focus is on YOU. As a first-timer, they say in the meeting that you are the "most important person there." And then the focus becomes the 1st step, I guess both as a means of reminding everyone that at some point everyone was a first-timer, but also that first-timer reminds them of where they began.
I knew a couple of faces thankfully.
I felt very lonely afterwards.
But already, I've started rearranging next week so I can go to the other gay meeting on Wednesday as well as the one on Friday.